On Father's Day, we said goodbye to the father of the long-distance dedication, Casey Kasem. He was an American icon best known for his weekly radio countdown programs and as the voice of Shaggy in the "Scooby-Doo" cartoon series.

Sadly, Kasem's legacy was tarnished by a family conflict surrounding his end-of-life decisions — all played out in the media for the world to watch. Unfortunately, these disputes are all too common.

As an ICU nurse, I watched countless families have to make difficult decisions regarding their loved ones' care, especially at the end of life. Only a rare few actually had advanced directives that memorialized their requests when they were rendered unable.

Many Americans have thought about end-of-life decisions, but only 35 percent have actually executed advanced directives. This lack of direction leaves family members in a difficult place when definitive decisions need to be made.

There is nothing worse than relaying difficult news, such as your family member may never have meaningful recovery, and then requesting them to determine how to proceed. During such an emotionally-charged time, having advanced directives in place removes that burden and simply allows the family member to speak his or her wishes. We would often remind loved ones that they were not actually making decisions, they were just verbalizing what the patient could not longer say for themselves.

When the wishes are written down, it is like giving your loved one a gift by eliminating the guessing game at such a difficult time. Hopefully, they have had the conversation in the past, they know what the patient wants and are able to execute the decisions.

Unfortunately, in the case of Kasem, a unique, but common situation arose. In his case, it appeared he had drafted some form of advanced directives to which his children from his first marriage were in agreement. He apparently wished to die comfortably and peacefully surrounded by family and friends.

Yet the battle began as his wife, his caregiver, had other more aggressive treatment in mind for his healthcare, hence the reason they ended up before a judge. Although there were some other unique circumstances to this story, the bottom line is common. Although Kasem had expressed his wishes, he may not have chosen an appropriate healthcare surrogate to carry them out.

Depending on the state in which you reside, next-of-kin decision-making is usually clear, and that person will be appointed when you are unable, unless you appoint someone different — also known as a healthcare surogate. Although spouses and children seem to be obvious choices, if they are unable or unwilling to honor your wishes, you may need to consider choosing someone else. Again, it starts with a conversation that needs to be had with the person you are considering.

Although we have lost an American icon, I hope he leaves us with a great parting gift. I would hope that his life would get the conversation going and help Americans start taking control of their end-of-life decisions. I would hope that you will be brave and speak to your family and loved ones about what your wishes are for your end-of-life care. Give them the gift of not having to guess.

If you would like more information on advanced directives, you can go to the website for National Healthcare Decision Day where you can find information, tips for staring the conversation and also copies of advanced directives for you to fill out with your loved one.

I challenge you to think about your wishes for your end-of-life care, decide on a decision-maker who will support you, and have the conversation.