Typically, we choose our leaders for their skill at conveying messages clearly and powerfully. But, in my experience, it's their ability to listen that distinguishes great leaders from the rest.

We often attribute courage and strength to the speaker, but what about the listener?

In speaking I have the advantage of time and preparation. I can control what I say and how I say it. I am able to think about it beforehand, write down a few notes and test my thoughts with someone else.

The listener has no such advantage.

The art of listening is a leadership strength that is often greatly underdeveloped. Some leaders "hear," others use communication techniques to make others believe they are listening, while few leaders actually have listening skills and abilities.

Working on developing listening skills requires a number of steps. Having the courage and willingness to be approachable by everyone is step number one. Everyone means everyone. Most leaders I have met feel they are approachable when in fact they are not. They may be approachable by a select few, but they are not approachable by everyone.

Next, you must have the courage to tear down the barriers to listening that are both physical and invisible. The list of possible physical and invisible barriers is exhaustive. A good place to start breaking down barriers in your organization is to re-examine your organizational chart and physical office spaces. What barriers can you eliminate?

Begin to create a culture of listening. Train your team to become active curious listeners.

Do not listen in a defensive mode. When listening we often guard ourselves. As defensive listeners, we let the powerful feelings like anger, sadness and insecurity block our ability to listen.

Listening is as much about what you don’t do as it is about what you do. Resist the temptation either blatantly or subtly to be critical of the speaker or what the speaker is saying. Don't argue, poke fun at, shame, act aggressively, turn on, or act cold.

Don't judge! Instead, learn to listen in the offensive mode. Develop your questioning skills. Learn to listen without any trace of annoyance. Reiterate what you're hearing, ask questions, and be curious.

Be curious to understand what people are really saying and to understand what's underneath what they're saying. Get a full understanding of their concerns, solutions or perspective.

The better you are at listening, the more likely people will talk and communicate with you. They may even feel secure enough convey the "elephant in the room" or other previously unspeakable truths.

If you can be a courageous listener, avoid judging and stay open, even if the message is awkward and unsettling, you will be able to move your organization down a better path.