The idea behind the holiday party is a positive one: celebrate. It is the end of the year, a whole number of holidays are happening around the same time and it's just a good time for a party. But, for small employers, the road paved with good intentions does not always lead in the most positive direction.

Small employers have the benefit of being able to host more intimate gatherings for all of their employees — and often their family members — but this can be a curse as much as a benefit.

In addition to the innumerable hookups and breakups among the ranks of employees that often happens at holiday parties, one of the most common occurrences I thoroughly enjoy is the embarrassing (in a respect-forever-lost kind of way) karaoke singing and dancing. While these types of indiscretions can be harmless, I have seen them escalate.

Specifically, a charming mismatch of employees at one client resulted in the VP of marketing caught getting high with two customer service representatives in the parking lot. And at another client, the CEO and some of the executives formed a band and sang some rocking versions of holiday tunes at the soiree.

While that was somewhat embarrassing, it got worse. During a particularly rousing rendition of "Jingle Bells," two female employees took off their shirts and threw them at the band members. Fun and memorable, but perhaps not in the intended way.

So am I putting on my HR hat and telling you to stop having holiday parties? No, but I am suggesting you consider the risks.

All of the above situations were fueled by corporate-sponsored drinking. No one was physically hurt (though there was one incident when an employee fell off the ship at a dinner cruise), but is nothing bad happening yet a reason to continue pushing your luck? How important is it that you buy your employees drinks?

Take just a minute to think about how many ways that can go wrong. Is it worth it?

If you asked your employees for a great way to celebrate the accomplishments of the year, what would they say? If you asked what kind of gift they wanted to acknowledge those accomplishments, what would they say?

When my clients have gone through this exercise, here is what they have found. First, employees do like to have parties, but squeezing it in between all the other things they have to do during their off time can be tough. Some kind of celebration during or immediately after work was the most popular response. Second, almost all employees wanted either paid time off or cash as a reward.

Combining the two, by offering either a really fancy breakfast or lunch followed by the rest of the day off were successful solutions. Several other clients decided to separate the need to team build with celebrating and instead just closed the office for two days, paying the employees and thus giving everyone the gifts of time and family.

Whatever you may decide to do, first ask: What are you trying to do? What do you want this gesture to accomplish and is what you are doing the best way to achieve it? Then go about the planning.