When is it OK to tell your employees to stop whining? More often than you think.

While "stop whining" may not be as satisfying as declaring "you're fired" or "I quit," it can feel great to clearly and succinctly tell a constantly complaining employee to get over it and go back to his cubicle. Yet we do not. Why?

It's not illegal

Usually, it is based on a lack of a firm grasp of employer and employee rights. This boils down to two things. First, a misunderstanding around what is illegal. And second, the ease with which employees can glean a cursory (but often flawed) understanding of employment law.

For example, it is not illegal for a manager to be a jerk. It is also not illegal to be mean — even really, really mean. And in most cases, unless the behavior is related to the other person being in a protected class, it is not illegal to retaliate against, make fun of, yell at or in general make work a horrible place to be for an employee.

To be clear: I am not an attorney. But if you would like to read a clear, entertaining summary what could be — and more importantly what is not — illegal workplace activity from an attorney, I suggest popping over to this post from Donna Ballman, P.A., in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. She is an employee rights advocate with a direct style and a succinct way of illustrating that many of the most common employee complaints we face as leaders are not about illegal activities.

So, what do we do? Does that mean we can finally start telling the whiners to rub some dirt on it and go back to the cubicle?

Google it

Maybe. The problem is the second part of the issue: the ease with which employees have access to partial and sometimes-misleading information about employment laws. As a workplace investigator, I am often called to investigate claims of hostile work environment, harassment and retaliation.

These are heavy words that often become entangled with illegal activities, but more often than you would think the actions I investigate are not illegal.

Yet employees thinking the activities are illegal is quite common. And use of those buzzwords by a complaining employee demands attention, just not from the perspective of an investigation.

Next steps

Anytime an employee complains about harassment or hostile work environment or bullying or any other legal buzzword, it should be investigated. But before that even happens, it is important to educate employees and managers alike about these issues.

Specifically, provide resources to help employees and managers answer (or articulate where to find the answers to) the following questions:

• What are harassment, hostile work environment and retaliation?
• What is the appropriate complaint process for each circumstance?
• What are the consequences of the related actions?

The employee handbook is a good place to provide detailed information related to these questions. Employer intranets, department training and good communication are also great options for keeping everyone informed and clear about what they can, should, cannot and should not say.