The typical connection for communicating information from the school to home is between parent and teacher. At the start of each new school year, parents look for the basic weekly classroom newsletter, parent-teacher notebook or notes from the teacher.

However, we are leaving out the most important voice in communication regarding the instruction at school if we do not include the student. Instead of the typical two-way communication, a more effective and affective manner is a triangular communication. This way the teacher, student and parents can all be included in the communication.

When it is time for the communication from school to go home, it should be from the teacher and the student to the parents. This provides the opportunity for the student to self-affirm what and how he learned in class. It also provides a means for the student to reflect on what additional practice he may need to complete at home to improve his understanding of the concept learned at school.

When the student leads the school-home connection, it strengthens the link between the parents and teacher. The teacher is not reporting to the parents what was taught in class, as typically is reported. Instead, the student chooses to report what he has actually learned and what he may still need more assistance to learn.

This is important information for the parents to receive.

When the parent returns communication, it should include input from the student about how well he understood or completed his homework or extra practice at home. The student is given two opportunities to self-affirm his own learning. This removes the opinions and perspectives of the teacher or parents, and instead provides the voice of the student.

Why should students have opportunities to self-affirm? Students always are telling themselves information about ideas — such as how well they are learning, whether they are liked by other students, whether teachers like them, and whether school is a good place for them. They tell themselves stories about many situations that happen during their day.

Students make choices based on the information they tell themselves and believe. At times, the stories they tell themselves need to be validated by people around them they can trust. When students self-affirm about school, it helps teachers and parents to understand the stories the students believe. The adults in the student's life can then help to guide further decisions about learning that can help the student develop affective skills appropriately.

Will students be accurate in their judgement of themselves? Self-affirmation is a form of self-reflection. Children as young as 3 to 6 years old are able to make decisions about their own behavior. Self-reflection promotes expansive thinking skills and metacognition as students consider what they understand in comparison to what the teacher has presented.

This also creates an opportunity for problem-solving as students consider how they may need to make changes to improve their learning. In the school-home connection, the teacher and parents can help the student to self-affirm in a positive manner demonstrating that the process of learning involves making errors, learning from those errors and making changes to eliminate those errors.

As children self-affirm the various stages of learning they are currently in, it develops a stronger opportunity for change.