Work spouses have been proven to further success, productivity and fun on the job. Having a colleague with whom you can joke, commiserate and confide with can make or break long days or rough quarters.

However, the success of the work spouse relationship is based on the understanding that the two of you are equals. So how do leaders reap the benefits of work spouses when their options for befriending equals are nonexistent or extremely limited?

Money

First, let’s get clear on what a work spouse is. A work spouse traditionally is someone at the same level within the same organization that understands the key players, problems and atmosphere within our work environment.

They provide an ear for our complaints, a partner-in-crime for our pranks and the proverbial shoulder on which we can cry when we are at our wit’s end. Scientific studies and anecdotal research align in favor of the increased productivity and improved perspective leaders gain from having a confidant of this nature.

That said, many of us work in environments within which there are few other executives at our level. Thus, we are hard-pressed to find someone that is both at our level and with whom we are compatible in attitude and sense of humor. In such cases, we do have a few options worth exploring.

The most common way is to pay for them. Executive groups, leadership coaches and business therapists are all ways to find someone in which to confide without the worry of any negative impact at work. These options can help with feeling alone, needing advice or venting.

Further, they are great options for combatting stress, burnout or general frustration. On the flip side, though, the ability to share a nutty experience in the moment or commiserate cannot be purchased.

Partners

In that case, service providers that work regularly with the organization can also be an option. Lawyers, accountants or high-level consultants that are familiar with the organization and the players can provide another pool of professionals within which to find a work spouse with whom to share the daily drama of the office.

Oftentimes, these professionals can provide support in addition to an informed, but different perspective.

Industry networks

Another group of professionals who understand the plight of the lonely executive, the players and the landscape are those who do what we do somewhere else. Executive groups often pride themselves on having leaders from diverse industries.

However, industry networks can help us connect with other leaders who are familiar with our struggles and can appreciate the challenges and humor we face regularly. Peers in this group can also provide the loyalty, support and understanding others may get from in-office work spouses.

Having a work spouse means we have someone who is trustworthy, informed and confidential. Ideally, they are not in our chain of command but do understand the challenges associated with our level of leadership.

Further, they can be both an informed sounding board and someone with whom to vent frustration or share a laugh. While it may seem a little like dating and thus perhaps not something to spend our professional time on; having a person we trust to discuss the many facets of our work day can prove to be invaluable.