The angst of parenthood rears its ugly multiheaded hydra appearance around this time every year — it's time for the parent-teacher conference. The parental hopes and dreams that your child did, in fact, incorporate all the lectures from you on bringing up his/her game hang in the fateful balance of this night.

To borrow a phrase from the wisdom tradition of Judaism: Why is this night different from any other night? The parent-teacher conference will reveal the performance of your child. On academic and social levels, the teacher will tell you how well your child has met expectations and achieved peak performance.

From the parental perspective, this may translate into how well have "I" achieved. For some parents, anxiety of conscience kicks in. "It is my fault." "I didn't spend enough time with him/her." Guilt begs the need to assess blame on someone. The parent, the teacher, the student, the school, the administration, the neighborhood, the dog who ate the homework. Someone is at fault, and someone must take the blame.

Broad-shouldered parents and those with a predisposition to carry the burdens of others (as well as those whose ego does the talking for them) tend to suffer most with these thoughts. When this happens, those who are responsible for their own actions become disabled from performing at their best.

Children will never learn accountability for their actions in this way, be it positive or negative. It becomes difficult for them to distinguish between what is their reality and what is that of their parent(s). Self-reflection, responsibility for one's own actions and pride in meeting one's own expectations lays the foundation for mature growth and development.

There is also the penchant to be angry and punishing when the child's performance hasn't met your expectations. This may be due to an inability to understand how to remedy certain situations. The parent may not have coping strategies or strategies for enhancing peak performance of their child. We do know, however, that anger and punishment do not work either to motivate performance or to build self-esteem.

Fear is a powerful force in action or non-action. Fear of the future ranks No. 1. "What will become of my child?" "Will he have to go to summer school?" "Will she get into the next school of her choice?" "How will this impact my life?"

Life after the parent-teacher conference can take any path you choose. Any path that you consciously choose, that is.

My studies at Harvard with the eminent professor, Daniel Brown, Ph.D., ABPH, highlighted the age old practices of meditation and visualization that promote well-being and enhance peak performance in everyday living. No, you don't have to go to Harvard or Tibet to study with the Dalai Lama to learn these practices. They are simple to learn.

The way to utilize visualizations, concentration and meditation to realize optimal states and generate personal peak performance strategies is the very same way in which one becomes a concert pianist at Carnegie Hall. How? Practice, practice, practice.

Life after the parent-teacher conference can predict a life of flourishing or languishing.

According to researchers Corey L.M. Keyes and Jonathan Haidt, flourishing individuals function positively in private and social lives, are filled with emotional activity, know how to lead "the good life" and make the most out of setbacks. Flourishing in life is a state in which an individual feels positive emotion toward life and is functioning well psychologically and socially.

The same researchers describe languishing as the absence of good mental health. In this state, an individual is devoid of positive emotion toward life, is not functioning well psychologically or socially and may be depressed.

Life after the parent-teacher conference can be proactive and take a positive direction by establishing the conditions of peak performance. First, identify and remove the interferences to good performance and, second, cultivate the factors that potentiate peak performance.

The simple starting point is to assess the level of need of your child. Begin with simple breathing exercises to quiet the mind. Breathe in through your nose to the count of four, hold breath to the count of seven, exhale through the mouth with a whooshing sound to the count of eight.

Continue this practice until your mind has quieted and your emotions are as still as a placid lake. When one is able to attain this state of quietude, attending to the issues at hand in this moment will become easy. Distractions will resolve. Mindfulness in the moment is the crux of life after parent-teacher conferences.

The way or the Tao to achieving flourishing is a path you set for yourself as your inner self is revealed to you in each attentive moment. Teachers/mentors/practice masters are available in most every community. Mindfulness meditation has a wealth of benefits that are available by research on the Internet.

We are all abundantly aware that the parents and the teachers are integral key players in the life after the parent-teacher conference. So, to create flourishing children, we all need to be a part of a flourishing community.

These practices and strategies are meant for all of us to partake in. We can all stand to increase our well-being, happiness and peak performance. In fact, from where I stand, it is our birthright to do so.