Years ago, a family was enjoying a moment of peace in their new addition to their house. They sat together in the family room eating sandwiches and watching a movie.

The father, though relatively at ease, was hypervigilant to avoid escalations of his complex, wonderful son that would lead to a highly stressful, potentially traumatic episode. Fortunately, he had enough free attention to observe and seize an opportunity to nurture his son's self-awareness, self-esteem and self-direction.

The dad observed his son direct, not request, his mother to get him a glass of milk. Now, most parents would have chosen to correct the manners of the boy and remind him to say please and thank you. Instead, the dad prioritized something else: the child's mastery of the task at hand and the concurrent opportunity to enhance his independence.

Before the mother could comply with her directive, the dad asked the boy, "Why don't you get the glass of milk yourself?" He chose to use a tone of voice that was in sync with the peaceful context that prevailed, careful not to alter the mood of his son. He wanted to nurture a flexible response rather than an angry one. The boy remained silent — the wheels turning in his head.

Then, magic happened. The boy got off the couch, went straight to the refrigerator, opened the door, looked at the gallon of milk, and shook his head. The dad immediately approached his son and asked, "What just happened there?"

The boy struggled to find the words, and the father patiently waited ... and waited, allowing his smart son to assemble his own description of what had just transpired. Then, several seconds later, the boy said, "The milk ... it's too heavy. I will spill some when my hand shakes as I pour it."

The father instantly reviewed possible responses to his son's statement. He might have chosen to accommodate his son by altering the task of pouring for himself. He could have bought half-gallons of milk or even purchased one of those plastic containers with a built-in handle.

Instead, he said, "Son, good job trying to get yourself a glass of milk. We know you have a tremor. There's a difference between throwing a gallon of milk across the room in a rage and missing the glass as you steady your hand to pour yourself a drink. We will never be angry with you if you are trying to grow and you make a mistake. I'll clean up the spills. Go ahead — spill the milk."

The father framed the moment as an opportunity to help his son grow and modeled self-regulation. He focused on his son's strength and potential. He reframed his son's reaction to the task instead of changing the task. He seized an opportunity to nurture his son's self-awareness, self-esteem and self-direction.

In this instance, he literally helped his son take the task in hand. Carpe momentum. Seize the moment. Don't cry over spilled milk. Celebrate it.