It’s post-midterm election season and the holidays; the time of year when people tend to socialize more. Common questions are, "How do I deal with differing politics at the dinner table?" and/or "How do I deal with political differences at work?"

It would be easy to say, "Just don’t talk politics." This isn’t so easy when you and the people who disagree with you feel very strongly about what you believe in.

There is an inclination to want to share your views and even assume everyone agrees. Then comes the shocker, the person you thought you knew, or the family member you always got along with strongly disagrees.

According to the American Psychological Association, 1 in 10 workers in the U.S. have experienced tension or stress due to political discussions at work, which has also impacted productivity.

Does this mean that we should, at all costs, avoid talking politics at the dinner table or in the workplace?

At times this might be best, like when you’re at work and you are in problem solving mode, or when you’re trying to fix the a leak and stop the broken pipe from flooding the house during Thanksgiving dinner. But when there are hot issues that impact people’s daily lives, it’s hard to avoid the conversation when you’re relaxing around the table or out to lunch with a co-worker.

When topics come up, you can adamantly say, "Stop talking politics," which will result in an awkward silence while people decide to either leave because they don’t want to be told what to do, or try for a smooth transition to another topic which can feel really weird.

Often, it’s not the disagreement that creates the problem, it’s the format that it takes. When the conversation goes from discussion to yelling, name-calling and labeling it’s time to shut it down, walk away or intervene to bring it back to discussion mode.

Try this

Determine what’s appropriate as well as your acceptable level of conflict. In the workplace, it’s never appropriate to start yelling and attacking people for their political views.

At the same time, if someone is making racist, homophobic or other offensive comments and jokes, you need to speak up, intervene and if necessary report it. Spreading hate is not a political difference where people agree to disagree. It’s creating a hostile work environment, and interfering with people’s ability to do their best work, as well as a potential lawsuit.

If it’s at your dinner table, you make a choice, whether to speak up or allow someone to spew hate. Hate and offensive comments about different groups are not differences of opinion. If it’s your house, you get to make the rules.

Whether you’re with work colleagues or at your holiday table, and political disagreements arise, you can calmly ask the other person, "What makes you say that?" You can ask them why they feel a certain way and get their reasons. You can state your views and why you have them. If you can, seek common ground.

At a dinner with relatives I hadn’t seen in a long time, one of them started complaining about people who wanted to tear down monuments to a confederate general. When I asked her why, she said she didn’t want history destroyed. When I suggested that a more appropriate place might be in a museum and not where it would be construed as supporting slavery, she loved my idea.

At work, you can move the conversation back to business by asking for help with a "pressing" problem. It’s also OK to create "no politics" zones during work hours.

And ultimately, if you really want to avoid discussions of politics at the dinner table, think of topics in advance that would interest everyone.

Find areas of common interest or agreement. When you start with commonalities, it’s easier to be more respectful when you move to areas of disagreement. You’re less likely to engage in personal attacks and more likely to listen to each other. You’ll treat each other as full humans as opposed to a difference of opinion.