Lisa Cole

With decades of experience in health care encompassing entrepreneurial, educational, clinical and leadership roles, Lisa’s current focus is on helping people live and die well via lifestyle change, health advocacy and end-of-life navigation. You can reach her at lmcoletz@gmail.com.

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Articles by Lisa Cole

• Social media madness: Why distraction and discourtesy alienate us all

  Tuesday, June 16, 2020

  Is anyone else feeling as disconnected as I am in this world of hyper-connection? Nobody seems to be listening anymore — even my dear friends stop in mid-sentence when their phone pings. While responding back to whoever just usurped our conversation, they say they can still listen. It doesn't feel like that to me, though. They don't look at me and we never get back to where we left off before the interruption. Something clearly has shifted.

• Being so sensitive in a world that is sometimes not

  Wednesday, June 10, 2020

  When my physical therapist told me years ago I was a "delicate, little flower," I flat out denied it. I'd always thought of myself as strong, powerful and indestructible. Don't we all? Hearteningly, there are other "sensitives" out there. Think about the artists, outliers and geeks you know. All of us “sensitives” need strategies to safeguard ourselves living in a world that sometimes is not. How do we do this? Here are four suggestions.

• What to say when someone dies

  Monday, June 08, 2020

  From the front lines of the COVID-19 pandemic, early in April, a physician wrote a note I found to be very profound and moving. Right after receiving it, I got a ping asking, "What do you say to someone when their loved one just died?" The same question came the next day and, again, the day after. People were and are flailing in this deluge of death. Here's what I've found to be helpful to say when someone dies.

• Healthcare providers, don’t drink the Kool-Aid!

  Wednesday, May 27, 2020

  As COVID-19 spreads, more people are dying without loved ones being with them — or with each other. Front-line workers are increasingly falling ill and suffering from PTSD as their trauma toil mounts. Though we’re nowhere close to containing the virus, restrictions are being relaxed. How can this be? How can we intelligently respond? Here’s what I'm doing; perhaps, it will serve you as well.

• What we say in healthcare matters

  Monday, May 18, 2020

  The next time I teach a group of healthcare professionals, I think I'm going to sprinkle glitter on them. You know how hard it is to limit its reach — glitter ends up everywhere! This exercise would not be a lesson in germ transmission (although it sure could be). The purpose would be a visible reminder that our impact as providers spreads far and wide. I'd hone in on communication, that what we say matters. To ourselves, our colleagues and in our personal lives.

• When someone is dying, what can we do?

  Friday, May 08, 2020

  In the throes of the uptick of the COVID-19 pandemic, my son sent me a text from a colleague of his lamenting that while thousands are and will be dying, the public is only hearing from scientists, politicians and economists. He implored experts grounded in the humanities speak directly about death before it arrives. My kid said, "Mom, do it." And proceeded to ask me a question that ripped my heart right open. "What if I had been healthy last week and today I am dying. I'm still coherent; what would you say to me? It's happening to people everywhere."

• Being kind in the time of COVID-19

  Thursday, May 07, 2020

  At the time of this writing, I'm stuck between states, self-isolating and social distancing at a friend’s home during the COVID-19 pandemic. Being in the "vulnerable" category, it's not feasible for me to do what I naturally would — love and serve in whatever way I could. One could go south really quick these days if we let ourselves. Most of us have never experienced a pandemic that’s killing so many, including our healthcare providers who are struggling to keep us alive.

• Postpartum depression: When delight turns desperate

  Tuesday, April 14, 2020

  What happens when your "bundle of joy" becomes that "baby from hell"? Our culture perpetuates the fallacy that once we pop a baby out, then it's smack dab back to normal. This mentality denies the difficulties associated with the "fourth trimester." The physical, mental, emotional, existential changes and challenges of this period don't just go away once you’ve delivered. Postpartum depression is only now beginning to get its due.

• Send me flowers now — don’t wait for my funeral

  Monday, March 30, 2020

  Who among us hasn't followed our intuition or waited too late to take action and, ultimately, dearly regretted it? Maybe that voice inside kept niggling you to contact someone; yet, you kept telling yourself you'd get to it later. Perhaps you fully intended to make amends with an estranged relative or friend yet never quite found the right time to do so. My elderly mother gave me the title for this article. If your family is anything like mine, there's always one of us who seems to be out of sorts with the other.

• Die daily and live better

  Tuesday, March 10, 2020

  For those of you who are yoga aficionados, you are familiar with Savasana or Corpse Pose. Yes, that's corpse, as in dead. You know what that looks like. I dealt with corpses, tragically, in high school, viewing my beloved dead swim teammates at the funeral home. Little did I know then that this horrific car accident would set the trajectory for the rest of my life. My career and life have been informed by death. And this is what I have learned.

• Recommit to ‘health’ in healthcare

  Wednesday, February 19, 2020

  For many of us in healthcare, clinical practice is no picnic. Long hours, clipped patient visits, staffing shortages, electronic glitches and myriad insurance issues often curtail our ability to provide preventive patient education and counseling. Over and over again, research has demonstrated that our lifestyle hugely impacts our wellness and longevity. Yet, typically, we do a suboptimal job addressing this area with our patients — and ourselves. How can we, even with all the constraints that currently constrict us, amp up our game and be the change we wish to see?

• Dump your stuff now, before you die

  Tuesday, January 28, 2020

  Who amongst us wouldn't like to feel lighter, freer, less encumbered? I would! Maybe due to my time dealing with death as a healthcare professional, being an older U.S. Peace Corps volunteer in Africa, or because of the "gypsy year" I'm in right now, I am convinced we don’t need most of what we think we do. How many of us default to storage units when our home becomes too crowded? What's the inside of our car look like? When will we rid ourselves of all this extra? Or will we? Dump your stuff now, before you die.

• The difficulty with goodbye

  Wednesday, January 08, 2020

  "When those you love have passed away…" is how my mom begins her last goodbyes to us on her "Remembrance" memorial message. She's not near death yet, just preparing. Goodbye comes in many forms: death, disease, divorce, family fallouts, moves, unrequited love, "ghosting," natural endings, maturation, and violence, to name a few. Rehab facilities and prisons are filled with those who have been left behind. Alcohol, drugs, sex, eating, gambling, technology addictions and the like temporarily soothe and distract us from such pain.

• Back it up: Let your death inform your life

  Tuesday, December 03, 2019

  We've all heard about "bucket lists." You’ve probably got your own. It may include ideas about what we want to see and do and where we want to go before we die. These lists are great — I have a few of my own. Let's dive a bit deeper, though, and stretch even further. Go straight to your death now. How you wish to be remembered may change how you live your life. Here are five strategies to get you started.

• The importance of talking about death

  Wednesday, November 13, 2019

  Inevitably, when we are together, my adult son shepherds people my way introducing me as, "My Mom, who knows all about death." We were just together in San Francisco at a tech startup conference and he did it again. When I reflect on the myriad interactions I had that day, 20-somethings were the bulk of who I spoke to. Young people are wondering about death, too, and want — even need — to talk about it.

• Are you in need of a course correction? Reflect on your purpose

  Tuesday, October 22, 2019

  This morning, while pondering "purpose," images of sailing swirled about me. I remember being caught "in irons" — trapped in a "No Go Zone," unable to bear away and begin sailing. I thought, too, of the Sirens, enchanting mythological creatures beckoning sailors off course; ultimately, to their demise. Is this not our life at times? We’ve all been there — stuck, lost, and in need of navigation. It’s easy these days to feel windstrewn; we seem to be buffeted at every turn. By reflecting on our purpose, we can relocate our North Star and course correct.

• The blessing and burden of caregiving

  Monday, October 14, 2019

  Beyond the breathless years of raising "typical" children, many of us find ourselves again in caregiving roles. What do we do when those we love won't die, grow up or leave and we must care for them? Some of us see caring for another as a burden; others see it as a blessing. Often, it's both. The attitude one takes may be culturally influenced. Living in Tanzania, I found older people there to be universally revered. The idea of putting a parent in a skilled nursing home was foreign to Tanzanians — there aren't any!

• Soulfully preparing for the end of life

  Friday, October 04, 2019

  These past seven months I’ve been on a mission. Throwing caution to the wind, I moved out of state temporarily to be near Mom to set her up to "age in place." Amidst the plethora of preparations, we’ve shared many soulful moments. What began as an odyssey is ending with an opus. Before launching into all her current and possible future arrangements, it was important for us to sit down and talk. Heartfully and honestly talk — as if our lives depended on it. Because, they did.

• Bummed, burnt or just plain beat?

  Thursday, September 19, 2019

  Life can often feel like an endurance contest — deadline after deadline with piles upon piles of work. When we’re wallowing in funky feelings, it can help to pause, determine what we are feeling and needing and take appropriate action. As much as we think pushing on even harder may remedy our discomfort, stopping may be the best first thing to do. We can give ourselves "permission to pause." By taking that break and granting ourselves a breather, it may become obvious that we are simply physically exhausted.

• Living life on the edge: Compassionately caring for all patients

  Tuesday, September 10, 2019

  I'm not referring to folks who are bungee jumping, cliff diving, zip lining or driving race cars here. Rather, the opposite. While we providers do patch up plenty of such patients in the aftermath of such death-defying (or not!) feats, more often we care for those whose entire lives entail living on the edge. Think mental illness, chronic pain, the imprisoned, the disabled, victims of abuse, the homeless, dying patients and the poor. Let's examine our perceptions of patients, coping, resiliency and how we care.

• Hurry on over to hospice — don’t wait

  Tuesday, September 03, 2019

  When given a prognosis of likely less than six months to live, most people — once the shock subsides — seek cure. Some go to the ends of the earth in search of treatment; others spend every available dime to ensure they stay alive. It doesn’t matter how old or ill, we humans are hardwired for survival. Making this decision is each person’s own prerogative. As healthcare providers, though, it’s our duty to make sure we give folks choices. It’s our responsibility to be educated about hospice and palliative care and to become comfortable having this conversation with our clients — early on.

• If you’re struggling, beckon ‘flow’ instead

  Tuesday, August 20, 2019

  Most of us know that sense of resistance when we’re just not feeling it and really need to get something done (or think we do). For me, it may be tackling my taxes, plowing through the piles on my desk, or trying to come up with an idea for an article. Even when I like what I’m about to embark upon, sometimes getting started or back into it is just not happening. Many expert strategies for how we should tackle our various obligations have merit. For now, though, let’s explore how examining our resistance and altering our attitude can help us get going.

• Directives for our death

  Thursday, August 15, 2019

  Whenever I work with clients, one of the first things I do is get them to complete their end-of-life documents or clarify them. It never ceases to amaze me who has yet to do theirs — attorneys, physicians, and folks with terminal illnesses have all put it off. It seems to be part of our American culture; if we just don’t think about it, death won't happen. Yet, we will die. And when we can set up dying on our own terms, it becomes a little bit easier for everybody.

• Improvise, adapt, overcome: Change is inevitable

  Wednesday, August 07, 2019

  "Improvise! Adapt! Overcome!" I feel like I’m doing this a lot lately. I first heard this phrase when my son was in high school — it’s what his AP chemistry teacher barked at his students when they complained. Considered an informal U.S. Marines slogan, it sure can help direct us when we’re faced with change — be it desired or not. Most of us are content operating within our regularities, routines and rituals. We like the stability and safety of the status quo. When things get shaken up, often we get frustrated, impatient, and mad.

• Anticipatory grief: Break on through to the other side

  Tuesday, July 30, 2019

  I received news about a friend recently — his seizures have now collided into a diagnosis of glioblastoma. A strong and steady man, trustworthy through and through, reliable, and ever-so-devoted is suddenly facing a life-limiting illness. His life has forever changed; and, so has ours. While grief will have its way with us, through feeling, caring and with gratitude, we can "break on through to the other side." Most often we focus on all that our people must deal with when tragedy strikes. Yet, those of us who care about this person find that, with such news, the very nature of our relationship is impacted as well.

• Knowing when our timing is off in healthcare

  Friday, July 26, 2019

  As healthcare providers, we know all too well that when the timing is off, people can suffer. Asynchronous heart rhythms, unchecked cellular growth and medication mistakes all can lead to death. Less tragically, blood sugar spikes and dips, sleep anomalies, and bowel disturbances can make folks miserable. "Sequencing affects outcome," my dear deceased friend would often quote me from the yoga sutras. So it is with each of us emotionally. Consider all the "could ofs, should ofs, might ofs, if onlys" of our lives.

• Seeking silence: Ultimately, it’s an inside job

  Monday, July 22, 2019

  Noise — it's everywhere! Noisemakers abound: fans, compressors, leaf blowers. Even libraries, once a respite enshrouded in a tomblike hush, have now become community headquarters. Am I the only one left seeking silence in what seems like a deafening world? From the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety: "Sound is what we hear. Noise is unwanted sound. The difference between sound and noise depends upon the listener and the circumstances."

• Chronic pain: We are adding to our patients’ suffering

  Tuesday, July 16, 2019

  I started my professional practice in chemical dependency. Now, many decades later, I find myself advocating for chronic pain patients just to get them the drugs they need to continue functioning. More and more, they are erroneously considered “addicts” and being titrated down, cut off or given inadequate substitutes to what had been working well enough for them. Most simply want to attend to their activities of daily living without being immobilized by pain. This current prescribing practice only contributes to our patients’ suffering versus offering relief.

• How you can provide a healing environment at your workplace

  Friday, July 12, 2019

  When I think about a healing environment, rest, beauty and love instantly come to mind. Yet, how often do we encounter any of these three qualities in a typical healthcare encounter? Or in any workplace? Kate Strasburg and Traci Teraoka, co-founders of Healing Environments, spent 15 years creating environments conducive to healing. Let's take up their torch and put on our thinking caps.

• Teachable moments through death

  Monday, July 08, 2019

  "So how can we possibly incorporate some of the contemplative care practices we learned at ‘Being With Dying’ into real-life clinical practice? There's absolutely no time," he bemoaned. He was the director of medical education at a large teaching hospital. He also worked there as an attending MD — with outstanding teaching accolades. I had given him a call after attending one of the earlier iterations of this professional training program for clinicians. "Let's see," I said as he challenged me with an invite to participate in ICU rounds.

• Take 5 minutes and pause when providing care becomes overwhelming

  Monday, July 01, 2019

  Whether delivering care at the bedside or ricocheting from one meeting to the next, we as healthcare providers can benefit by putting pauses into our daily professional practice. Why? Even the hardiest of us get tired, overstimulated or emotionally hooked during our day. We don’t operate at our best when running on empty. So, as a kindness and a responsibility to ourselves and others, let’s consider recognizing when we need to stop and rest — if only for five minutes.

• Healthcare professionals, take time to transition

  Thursday, June 20, 2019

  Whether we work on the floor, in a cubicle or in the executive corner office, most of us in healthcare run, run, run all day long. And then, many of us press on and push ourselves at this pace into the wee hours, attending to household and childcare duties on our "second shift." How realistic, given that we're not robots, is it to continually go from "on" to more "on?" Remember that Dunkin’ Donuts ad, "Time to Make the Donuts?" How healthy is that? Healthcare providers, take heed! We need to take time to transition.

• Ready or not, we die

  Tuesday, June 11, 2019

  What is one of the first things we, as healthcare providers, do when providing acute patient care? Clarify "Do Not Resuscitate" (DNR) status, correct? This singular item informs the patient’s entire plan of care. Yet, how many of us are personally equally prepared? Have we completed what we hammer our clients, colleagues, and clan to do? Ready or not, death will be knocking on our door.